Wednesday, May 21, 2008

People Whom I Could Do Without On The Subway

  • Modern Day Nomads.Those hippie types with the huge camping backpacks and six additional bags of shit they carry with them on the rush hour subway. Seriously, the last thing I need in the morning when I am trying to get to work in the morning is some goat-bearded, patchouli-stinking, Sherpa hat wearing Asshole blocking the goddamned door with all of the shit they own. These World traveler, Bedouin types should be collected and Liquidated for being a drain on resources.

  • The Subway Thug. You know who im talking about, the young fellows on the subway who insist on trying to look tough and dangerous. But seriously, how tough can you look with your pants hanging off your ass, and wearing a baseball cap big enough to tuck your ears under? Speaking of ears, these same subway thugs seem to have gotten into their grandmother's costume jewelry and selected the biggest pair of ridiculous, rhinestone encrusted old lady earrings to wear. Real Tough, fellahs. Real Fierce, is more accurate.

  • Old People with Canes who insist on using the stairs. Why, why, oh sweet Saviour, why do they insist on using the stairway in the middle of Rush Hour. See? It's in the name. Rush Hour. We are in a hurry to get our crappy jobs, just so the day can be started, and be over sooner. If I had a dollar for everytime I was hauling ass accross the subway station. trying to catch a connecting train, only to be brought up short by some Senior citizen hobbling their geriatric asses down th goddamned stairs, I'd have, like, ten bucks. Seriously, for their safety, old folks should avoid the subway at all costs, because some commuters will not hesitate to trample Ole Granny or Gramps. Thats why God made Buses and Access-A-Ride. Stay on the surface, oldsters.

More to come as I run into more undesirables during my forays into the New York Subway System!